My Bottom 10 Books of 2023

At the end of every year, I compile a list of the books that I liked best and the books I liked the least. It’s a really fun way for me to revisit everything that I read in the past twelve months, and I’m a big fan of reading posts like this. It’s the easiest way for me to figure out whether or not I vibe with a reviewer. If I read their list of favorites and it’s full of books I like, I know to pay attention when they rave about books I haven’t read. Likewise, lists of least favorite books are valuable, both because it’s a quick and easy way to compare taste (I’ve picked up many books because I saw someone whose taste I disagree with trash them) and because it can be cathartic to read negative reviews of a book I hated, particularly when it’s a fringe opinion.

There have been a lot of takes on social media lately about how terrible least-favorite lists are and how it’s ridiculous that people are spreading negativity. Well, I’m doing it anyway. I already made my books-I-loved list. I did that first, as always. I’m not going to tag authors or even titles. I’m expecting to get maybe four views on this as that’s about my average on this sort of thing. I like to have this list so that I can look back and easily compare my reading experience year by year.

Inclusion on this list isn’t necessarily an indication that the book is bad. It just means that I didn’t like it. Maybe it’s not my type of book. Almost everything on here is a romance or historical fiction. Maybe I was suffering from bad mental health when I read it and that kept me from liking it. My depression was bad in 2023. Maybe a book’s popularity and/or acclaim got my expectations high enough that minor dislike mixed with bewilderment felt like hatred. Maybe there was content in it that I couldn’t get past. Depicting child abuse on the page is a quick way to get on this list. Maybe it was bad, or maybe I’m just a hater.

If you’re one of those people who doesn’t want to read negative reviews or negativity, good for you. You can click away. This one is for me.

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The Secret Book of Flora Lea (Mini Book Review)

I was forced once again to read a historical fiction novel for book club. The Secret Book of Flora Lea by Patti Callahan Henry is not the sort of novel I would naturally pick up on my own, and after the last few book club picks I’ve set my expectations quite low. Still, I figured that nothing could be as depressing as the last book I read, which was about female infanticide, and that a story about stories was bound to interest me more than one about motherhood in a labor camp

What’s it about?

Hazel and her younger sister Flora were sent from London out to the countryside during Operation Pied Piper. There, Hazel tells Flora stories of a secret world called Whisperwood to help her forget the horrors of the outside world. Between Whisperwood and their loving hosts, the girls are able to have a relatively idyllic summer… until Flora disappears. Focused on the war, the world determines that Flora drowned and moves on, but twenty years later Hazel stumbles across an American novel about Whisperwood. If Whisperwood is still out there, does that mean Flora is too? 

What’d I think?

Rating: 2 out of 5.

I didn’t hate The Secret Book of Flora Lea, and I did have a good time at book club. Most of my group enjoyed the book, and we had a really good discussion about storytelling and creative ownership. A lot of The Secret Book of Flora Lea is about asking the question ‘who owns a story?’ Hazel is extremely jealous about Whisperwood, to the point that she gets angry if Flora so much as mentions it to anyone else; when the story crosses the ocean and finds its way to Peggy, she—not knowing its origins—expands it and makes it her own with her own effort and creativity. To whom, then, does the story belong? Hazel, who thought of it first? Flora, for whom it was written? Peggy, the one who took it from a formless idea to something more? Can a story really belong to anyone?

Anyone else remember “Mr. Linden’s Library?” My middle school creative writing teacher gave it to us as a writing prompt. Basically, it is a picture from a children’s book The Mysteries of Harris Burdick by Chris Van Allsburg that shows a sleeping girl next to a book with vines growing out of it. As far as I can tell, it’s a common enough writing prompt, and the fact that Hazel’s last name is “Linden” made me wonder if Patti Callahan Smith had been inspired by it.

The discussion of story ownership was by far my favorite part of The Secret Book of Flora Lea, in large part because I didn’t particularly like the book. Oh, it’s fine. It’s even mildly entertaining. The problem with it is that it takes itself too seriously and is a bit too repetitive.

Every couple of months I get on my literary fiction soapbox and complain about it until I get distracted and move on. If you don’t feel like listening to the soapbox rant, maybe jump onto a different review. For some reason, I was less inspired to review The Secret Book of Flora Lea as an individual book and more inspired to lament genre more broadly.

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Good Night, Irene (Book Rant)

I’m going to be honest: I hated Good Night, Irene by Luis Alberto Urrea. If you want to read a positive or balanced review of it, you’ll have to find that elsewhere. 

What’s it about?

Based on the experiences of the author’s mother’s real service as a ‘Donut Dolly’ during World War II, Good Night, Irene follows two women who leave home to join a little-known unit of the Red Cross. Tasked with raising morale in the troops, Irene and Dorothy drive their clubmobile Rapid City from the front lines to the officers clubs to smile and flirt with the men while serving donuts and coffee. 

Why didn’t I like it?

Rating: 0.5 out of 5.

Long story short, it’s boring and doesn’t have much of a plot.

I’m not typically a tough reviewer. I’m not stingy with four- and five-star reviews, and I always feel genuinely bad when I give something a low rating, particularly when a lot of people seem to love it. Did I miss something? At least some of my complaints are matters of taste. Historical fiction is absolutely not one of my go-to genres, and I’ve read enough WWII fiction in the last few months that I’m fairly over it. That being said, I do think that most of my critiques are legitimate and that I’m not being overly, overly mean.

Or maybe I am. Very close to the start of the novel, Irene plays a game of Solitaire and there’s some narration about the joker cards. The game of Solitaire does not use jokers. I’m usually the last person on earth to catch that sort of error, and that near immediate mistake didn’t exactly prime me to be optimistic (or charitable).

I don’t want to be unrepentantly negative, so I will say this: Urrea dedicated this novel to his mother Phyllis, who was a real-life Donut Dolly. Phyllis and her real-life clubmobile companions—including Jill, whom Urrea interviewed extensively for this project—make repeated cameos. This is very cute, and in these moments I could feel the love and respect Urrea has for her. 

That doesn’t make up for the book’s many, many other flaws, though. First and foremost, as I said above, is how boring it is. I read this for book club, and while I was the only one who hated the book, I was not the only one who found it painfully slow, particularly at the beginning. Most of the others in the group felt that it picked up about halfway/two-thirds of the way through; for me it absolutely did not, but even so… the halfway point is far, far too late for the book to draw attention. I famously refuse to DNF books, but I was sorely tempted. If I’m falling asleep every few pages, don’t care about there characters, and have found no plot to speak of, what exactly am I reading to the end for? I only finished for book club, but it took me so long to get through it that I truly thought this was going to be literally the first time in my life that I didn’t finish a book club pick. I did, but barely. There is nothing propulsive about Good Night, Irene, no ‘what happens next?’ The few questions I did have never got addressed, and I wasn’t alone in feeling that the book simply lacks plot. It reads more as a collection of disconnected scenes from the war than as a cohesive narrative. 

I truly think that this would have been better if Urrea hadn’t written a novel and had instead helped Jill shape her memories into a collection of essays. True stories, especially if written as a collection of anecdotes, don’t all have to build on each other the same way a novel does. In its current form, Good Night, Irene has a lot of scenes that don’t serve any clear purpose. Why, for instance, do Dorothy and Irene choose to put on cringey fake French accents for an afternoon? Generously I could say they’re trying to break the monotony or that the pressure of the war is breaking them, but I’m not truly convinced there’s evidence in the text to support it. Lots of scenes seem constructed to carry a single joke, most of which weren’t actually funny to me. 

It doesn’t help that I couldn’t care less about either of the women. Some of my book club companions did like them, but for my money they’re both just empty stereotypes. Irene is a girly girl and Dorothy is a tomboy. Irene had a physically abusive fiancé and Dorothy’s brother died in the war, which is what drove them to serve. Beyond that, there’s very little to them. Worse, they very much give off men-writing-women energy. Physical descriptions are squeezed in early, at very weird times, and neither woman is at all bothered by the gross behavior they receive at the hands of the GIs.

Did Urrea not realize that even the most patriotic woman might occasionally, at least once, tire of the pawing and the flirting and the pet names? Every once in a while one of them will say “don’t call me Dolly” but it’s played like an inside joke (and the girls don’t seem to have any problem being called “doll”). 

There are even moments that sound less like they were written by a human man and more like they were written by an alien educated by a man who had never met a woman before: in one scene Irene “sensed their male presence in her general radar way, and turned to admire the abdomen of the tall one” and a few sentences later Dorothy’s boyfriend “trotted to them and crawled in Dorothy’s lap. ‘Hello, hot mama,’ he growled.” I cringed very hard. In fact, I texted my mom in I’m about to quit this book despair.

Luis Alberto Urrea is a bestselling author who has won writing awards! How? He wrote the phrase “She did a minor swoon.” How am I supposed to take any of it seriously?

Even if I hadn’t seen the name on the cover of this book, there is no universe in which I could believe Good Night, Irene was written by a woman. It’s maybe not the overexaggeratedly sexed-up writing that is so maligned online, but there is something distinctly masculine about the lack of understanding about how women occupy the world, not just in the minor moments (Urrea apparently thinks that merely brushing curly hair can make it straight) but in the major ones as well. You’re telling me that Irene was repeatedly beaten by her fiancé and it’s just the inciting incident? After Irene joins the Red Cross her past abuse is never brought up again except in passing to explain why she’s there. Aside from prompting her to leave, being beaten evidently did not change Irene at all. Neither she nor Dorothy ever feels any discomfort about being constantly surrounded by armed men who haven’t seen a woman in weeks or months and who they are being asked to flirt with constantly. I’m sorry, but that would be terrifying. They receive letters that say things like I saw you for one minute six months ago and still fantasize about you or you probably don’t remember me but you gave me a donut once and I’d like to marry you after the war and they’re charmed by it. There’s not even a passing thought about this. Irene and Dorothy walk through the world—and the war—with a confidence that they’ll be untouched that is absolutely incomprehensible.

That goes double for the actual war stuff. The stated purpose of this book is to bring awareness to this under-appreciated and little-known group of war heroes, but in actuality I don’t think the Donut Dollies come across as particularly heroic here. In theory, I understand how their presence would boost morale, but Good Night, Irene makes them come across as frivolous and pampered. We’re told that they go to the front lines, but the one time they actually do experience the horrors of war upfront they’re sent overseas for an all-expenses paid beach vacation (and their boyfriends are free to just drop by). We’re told they’re sent to boost morale for the suffering GIs, but after seeing the GIs being released from a concentration camp, Patton himself apologizes to them and says he never should have sent them to see those men. When their clubmobile is shot, Irene and Dorothy’s instinctive first response is not to be afraid. It’s to be offended. They pretty much feel that they’re invincible, and why not? They’re immediately promoted to officers so that they’re treated more nicely. They apparently have an inexhaustible source of coffee and donuts, and seem to get the red carpet rolled out at every hotel stop. You wouldn’t know there was a such thing as food shortages or rationing to read this book, because the women at least are always being treated to expensive alcohol. 

It just feels disingenuous to say you’re writing about women’s heroism in war and then to actually write about how the women got to go on sexy vacations, get pampered with gifts of chocolate and champagne, and prove their heroism by (spoiler) adopting a baby.

It’s not a sexist book, but it certainly doesn’t feel nearly as empowering as I expected it to, or as I assume Urrea meant it to. And just don’t get me started on the cheesy death fakeouts or the fact that the love interest is unironically called “The Handyman.”

What’s the verdict?

If you liked this book, more power to you. I barely made it through. I literally fell asleep on it more than one time (and not reading late at night; I didn’t do that with this book, because I’d rather just go to sleep intentionally) and truly thought it was going going to break my decade-long no-DNFs streak. Generally speaking, I think books should have plots, and if they don’t they definitely need to have at least one compelling character with some sort of development. Good Night, Irene does not. The best I can say about it is that I now know about the Donut Dollies, which I didn’t before, and Urrea dedicated this to his mother and her WWII heroism and that’s cute. Beyond that… Good Night, Irene is—at least for me—absolutely without anything to recommend it. 

What’s next?

As far as WWII fiction goes, I highly recommend The Book Thief by Markus Zusak and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Borrows. The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah and All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr are also good. It’s not fiction, but The Monuments Men by Robert Edsel and Bret Witter may also be a good choice. I haven’t read it, but one of my fellow book clubbers enthusiastically recommended it.

For historical fiction with compelling female characters, try The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett, Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo, A Clash of Steel by CB Lee, Hour of the Witch by Chris Bohjalian, The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid, Kindred by Octavia Butler, Miss Benson’s Beetle by Rachel Joyce, or Burn by Patrick Ness. You’ll notice that not all those writers are women. Sure, women have a leg-up writing female characters, but that doesn’t mean no one else can do it well. Luis Alberto Urrea just didn’t with Good Night, Irene. 

And finally a recommendation that has nothing to do specifically with Good Night, Irene but which deserves a shout-out anyway: The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orzcy, published in 1903, is often considered a predecessor to the masked superhero stories we know so well nowadays. It takes place during the Reign of Terror and tells the story of an enigmatic hero smuggling French aristocrats to safety, the agent determined to stop him, and a woman caught in the middle with an impossible choice in front of her. It’s wonderful, and doesn’t get read enough. If schools taught The Scarlet Pimpernel, more kids would grow up loving classic literature.  

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Season 5 Review)

Apparently this is an unpopular opinion, but I thought that the final season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel was pretty awful.

I loved this show when it first aired. The first season was charming, colorful, and hilarious. I loved protagonists Midge and Susie and rooted hard for them to overcome the odds/the sexist status quo and make it big in the comedy world. Likewise, I loved season two. The hijinks hadn’t worn off, and I always got a good laugh out of Midge’s father Abe’s erudite shenanigans even if his transition from rigid scientist to bohemian anarchist (which happens, if I’m remembering correctly, somewhere between seasons two and three) is, in retrospect, probably the first sign that the show was trending downward.

Actually, the first sign was probably Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, which demonstrated that the Palladinos can start a good show, but they can’t end one. At the time I thought that was more to do with the long gap than due to particular failings as writers, but now that I know that the original finale was someone else’s work and that A Year in the Life was the supposed ‘fix’? Yikes.

I really liked season three as well, at least until the end. I can actually pinpoint the moment when The Marvelous Mrs Maisel lost me: when Midge publicly outs a closeted Black man (who, for the record, she only knows is gay because she found him in the immediate aftermath of being bashed) by doing a comedy routine full of stale gay stereotypes. Shy deservedly fires her right at the end of season three, and then season four opens with Midge angrily and bitterly reframing the event as a privileged man trying to silence a talented woman. The narrative seemingly agrees with her. Shy is a man and he fired Midge: sexism! Neither Midge nor anyone else seems at all interested in considering the other elements of the incident, like the fact that Midge is rich, straight, and white and that Shy is gay and Black. Nope, it’s a clear-cut Midge was wronged because of the patriarchy storyline. We’re supposed to be on Midge’s side even though she fucks up every good opportunity she gets and screws over every person who can give her leg up in the industry. Midge treats other people’s secrets as her comedy fodder. It’s easy to root for her when she’s doing it to her ex-husband Joel, who cheated on her and was asking for it. It’s a little harder to keep rooting for her but still pretty easy when it’s Sophie Lennon, a pretentious snob who is loaded but makes her living caricaturing the poor. When it’s Shy, though, someone who has been nothing but good to Midge and is uniquely vulnerable? It’s not quite as good a look.

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My Bottom Ten Books of 2022

Yep, it’s that time when I make my annual bottom ten rant list. I’m a fan of end-of-the-year retrospectives, so when the dust has settled I take a look back and survey my reading. What genres did I read the most of? How much rereading vs. reading fresh did I do? What new authors took me by surprise? Which old favorites kept their hold on my attention? Those kinds of numbers can be a lot of fun, but I think my favorite part of looking back is highlighting the cream of the crop… and the ones that curdled. I try to be as positive as I can, but every once in a while I give myself the space to rant. This is one of those times.

Read on for the ten books I liked the least in 2022 or jump over to my top ten list if you want recommendations for what to read instead of what to stay away from.

Instead of effectively writing new reviews that rehash what I’ve previously said about these books, I figured I’d do a quick overview and then hit the point home by plucking the most scathing single sentence from my existing reviews (or, at least, the most scathing sentence that can stand on its own without the context of the rest of the paragraph). That sounds like snarky fun! Reminder: not all the books on this list are actually bad. Some of them are. Others are just not my taste. These are my ten personal least favorite books of the year, not the ten objective worst books.

10. Elektra by Jennifer Saint

Not every book on this list is bad, per se. Elektra is an example of that. It’s fine. It’s a serviceable retelling of bits of the Iliad. It just doesn’t bring anything particularly new to the table, and while it positions itself as a feminist take on the story it only ends up highlighting how sidelined and even irrelevant the women are to this leg of the story. I read this with my book club; usually our discussions run for about two hours. We couldn’t think of anything else to say about Elektra after thirty-five minutes.

My most scathing line: “Saint retells these stories as they’ve been told before, changing only the camera angles through which we view them, and the end result is… fine.” 

You can read my full review here


9. One Italian Summer by Rebecca Serle

This is another book club book that’s decent enough for a brain-off read but which is actively horrible as a discussion launcher. This is the sort of book you take with you to vacation in Italy to read while you’re eating delicious Italian food. If you’re not already eating Italian food, this book will make you wish you were… because that’s pretty much all that happens in it. The official synopsis tricks you into thinking it’s going to be a novel about family and grief, but actually it’s an excuse to describe food and clothes. I seriously think that Serle wanted to go on vacation to Italy and had to find some way to justify it, so she slapped this out while she was there.

My most scathing line: “[One Italian Summer] sets up an interesting story with time travel and grief at the beginning and then tosses some cheap, easy wrap-ups at the end, but it is really just a book about a woman eating her way through Italy.”

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Skandar and the Unicorn Thief (Book Review)

While I don’t read as many middle grade novels as I did back when I was a children’s librarian, I do still enjoy them. When I heard about Skandar and the Unicorn Thief by A.F. Steadman, I was immediately interested. It is being touted as the next Percy Jackson and Harry Potter. It is the biggest known upfront children’s book buy, and the film rights have likewise already been sold for six digits. That’s absolutely insane, and it made me curious to check it out. Great children books are great books; my being nearly thirty doesn’t impede my enjoyment of books like Percy Jackson or The Westing Game or The Mysterious Benedict Society. I figured that Skandar would go one of two ways: either I would adore it or I would be bewildered and angry about another book claiming to be the next big thing when it is anything but.

What’s it about?

Skandar has always been obsessed with unicorns and unicorn racing. He and his sister have spent their lives wondering what it would be like to become a unicorn rider and move to the island where riders, bonded to their otherwise wild and bloodthirsty unicorns, are exalted above all else. Skandar’s sister failed the test, but Skandar doesn’t even get to take it; instead, he is secreted to the Island by a mysterious woman, where he learns that his bonded unicorn possesses an illegal kind of magic that has been outlawed since the emergence of the Weaver, a mysterious person who famously murdered dozens of riders years ago and has more recently kidnapped the Island’s most powerful unicorn.

What’d I think?

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Honestly, I suspect someone is going to get fired over Skandar. I hope I’m wrong, but what on earth were they thinking? This is not a terrible book. I’m not saying it shouldn’t have been published or anything, but it is deeply mediocre and extremely forgettable. It’s a copycat. It takes elements from better-known and better-liked stories and mashes them together into a sort of Frankenstein’s monster of commerciality without any heart of its own. It has the House system from Harry Potter and the title from Percy Jackson. Skandar’s illegal ability to use/master the elements from every group feels very Divergent, and the elemental magic itself (plus Skandar as a Chosen One who wields them all) feels lifted from Avatar: the Last Airbender. Speaking of Avatars, Skandar’s bond with his dangerous steed feels very much like it could be from James Cameron’s big-budget franchise. The character types are all familiar as well. Skandar is our poor, bullied boy with a bad home life who joins the magical world and finds out he’s special. His best friend is a much smarter, much savvier girl in the Hermione/Annabeth vein. There’s a mean blonde bully who gets a single scene with a bullying parent for humanization. There’s a Star Wars-esque twist at the end. 

I’m not saying that it’s bad to use tropes. It’s impossible not to, and tropes themselves are not bad. A lot of them are great. The thing about them, though, is that great books use existing tropes and make them feel new. I’ve read dozens, maybe even hundreds, of Chosen One stories. Sometimes I adore them and other times I go ugh, not another one of these. Sometimes a character will show up and I’ll say this character is almost identical to so-and-so from such-and-such. Sometimes I’ll hate that, and other times I won’t care because this new author has made me fall in love with this new character, and the similarities will feel incidental. None of that is the case with Skandar. The impression I get with Skandar is that everyone involved wanted it to be a hit so badly that they just plugged in everything that’s succeeded in the last decade or so and hoped for the best. You know the meme where it goes, “I forced a bot to watch x hours of reality TV and then write a script?” That’s what Skandar feels like: “I forced a bot to read ten thousand pages of bestselling fantasy and then asked it to write one of its own.”

It doesn’t seem to have paid off, either. When I finished Skandar, disappointed, I read other reviews and found that most people reacted the way that I did: high expectations that were not met. Skandar is literally my least-popular book from this year on Goodreads. I realize that it’s a kids’ book and not a lot of kids are on Goodreads, but still. It feels indicative. Skandar and the Unicorn Thief is a perfectly fine children’s book. If it had a slightly different title and marketed itself less desperately, it might have done better but it wants to be Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief so badly that ultimately it has shot itself in the foot.

Here’s the thing about comp titles. You want to pick titles that are big enough to be recognized, but not so big that they’re the top titles in that category. As a reader, I’m always a little wary when any book compares itself to the biggest titles. Anything that says it’s like Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Twilight, Percy Jackson, or the like is trying too hard. I see those comps and think, oh so that’s how successful you want to be. I might still read them, especially if I see positive reviews coming from real people (which is not true of Skandar; the industry is raving, but there’s crickets from actual readers), but unless there’s something very concrete as to why these are the titles being comp’d, I get annoyed. There are expectations. If you are talking about PJO, for instance, I expect mythology. I don’t mind people saying that readers who grew up with Percy Jackson will enjoy reading Madeleine Miller as adults. PJO author Rick Riordan is also well-known for his hilarious, snarky voice and dedication to diversity, so I expect laughs and representation from anything claiming to be similar. Skandar isn’t populated solely by white characters, but it plays itself pretty straight. It has a few lighthearted moments, but I can’t imagine anyone pointing to humor as one of its main selling points, whereas I’ve yet to see a review for Riordan’s work that doesn’t specifically highlight that as one of main strengths. At the end of the day, Percy Jackson is a terrible comp title for Skandar and the Unicorn Thief. Aside from being middle grade fantasy, they have nothing in common.* Percy Jackson is what Skandar hopes to be commercially, not creatively. 

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My Bottom Ten Books of 2021

Every year, I reflect back on what I read and take a moments to reflect on some of my more noteworthy discoveries. I start with my ten favorite (new-to-me) books because I love recommending the stories I love. And then I make another list of my ten least favorite books from the year because ranting is fun. So here’s what my brother calls my annual burn list.

obviously

10) Our Country Friends by Gary Shteyngart

To be honest, this book isn’t horrible. It’s just vaguely boring, a bit confusing, and a too-soon depiction of the early days of COVID (which I am not ready to relive). There are definitely some good things about it, like the way it taps into traditional Russian storytelling and recalls writers like Tolstoy. The problem with it is that it is about a bunch of well-off people bunkering down to wait out the pandemic. I’m pretty tired of thinking about the pandemic all the time, and when I read I generally don’t want to revisit the worst of what’s happening now in the real world. It’s also notable that none of the characters in Our Country Friends really experience the pandemic. It’s weird knowing that a huge percentage of the population suffered worse than these characters; you expect people in books to have more dramatic, difficult lives than real people. COVID is just an excuse to get them all together, and a way to make the book more topical. It’s also pretty predictable. You can tell within the first few chapters who is going to have an affair with whom, who isn’t going to get along, and who is going to (spoiler) die.

So yeah. It’s not bad, but I didn’t enjoy it and wouldn’t recommend it except maybe to future scholars who want to study COVID-19 through the fiction written about it.

Full review here


9) Anna K by Jenny Lee

Okay, with this placement it seems like I’m just dunking on the Russians. I promise I’m not. The problem with Anna K is that it took on a challenge it was not equipped to handle. There’s simply no way to take a novel that is about marriage and adultery in the 1800s and adapt it as a teen romance in the 2020s. You can’t turn Anna Karenina—a woman who stays in a suffocating marriage to a visible and well-regarded government official for the sake of her son—into a seventeen-year-old. I applaud the attempt. You can see the effort Lee put into making the story work, and in some places she makes really clever updates, but at the end of the day the story isn’t sustainable. I hope someday Jenny Lee writes a wholly original book, or picks a novel with themes that do work in the modern day with a teen cast, because she’s clearly talented. Anna Karenina just wasn’t the move.

Full review here


8) When You Get the Chance by Robin Stevenson and Tom Ryan

What is this book about? It’s hard to summarize because it has at least three different plotlines that have very little to do with each other and which all needed significantly more pagetime to make any impression whatsoever. It’s hard to actively dislike When You Get the Chance because it is very sincere and it clearly means well, but it’s frustrating because every time it picks up momentum it comes to a screeching stop and restarts something entirely unrelated. It throws in more characters instead of taking the time to develop the existing ones. By the time you get to the end—which doesn’t take very long, because this book is very short—you’re scratching your head trying to figure out how everyone got where they are now. How has the rude, selfish, borderline alcoholic party boy turned into a model citizen after one conversation? Why exactly are these siblings suddenly coming together after nearly a decade of animosity? This book is frustrating because it has so much potential. It’s billed as a roadtrip-to-Pride book, but the roadtrip to Pride just arrests the development that the protagonists were building towards at home, and the whole things feels like that one episode in a TV show that everyone hates (think: Lost’s “Stranger in a Strange Land,” Ted Lasso‘s “Beard After Hours,” or Stranger Things‘ “The Lost Sister”). It adds nothing but resentment for the story we might have gotten in its stead.

Full review here


7) Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

I was promised a female Captain Jack Sparrow. I expected a ridiculous heroine with bad manners and significant swag to chaotically win my heart with pirate shenanigans. What did I get instead? A swooning damsel in distress who could claim to be the baddest sailor on the seven seas until she was blue in the face, but who is only ever able to come up on top when there’s someone around she can seduce. This was such a disappointment. I was really feeling a good swashbuckling pirate story. I did not want a cheesy, trope-laden romance and I particularly didn’t want one with lightly misogynistic underpinnings. Maybe if I’d known going in that this was going to be a romance I might’ve liked it more, but I didn’t know and I was hugely let down and annoyed.

Full review here


6) The Merciful Crow by Margaret Owen

I read this one because some liar recommended it for Six of Crows fans. The Merciful Crow is not a good book by any stretch of the imagination, but put beside the Grishaverse? Oof. Personally, I generally steer clear of romance unless I’m in a certain frame of mind. I hate it when I’m in a fantasy mood and get bamboozled into reading a badly-written romance between two bland, one-dimensional characters whose connection more or less boils down to an Avril Lavigne lyric. So, no. The romance isn’t good. But if you focus on the fantasy, The Merciful Crow is even worse. Want a book with a political/religious system with basically no rules, but still manages to be illogical? In the mood for a vague threat that never develops beyond if she takes the throne everything is over? Ever think, heroes these days are just too smart; why can’t I root for someone whose plans are absolutely nonsensical? Longing for some heavy-handed allegory that falls apart as soon as you think about it for more than two seconds? If so, this is the book for you. It was not the book for me.

Full review here


5) We Begin at the End by Chris Whitaker

Very, very near the end of We Begin at the End, the novel acknowledges a few of its hero’s flaws. Up until that point, I’d thought the author was blind to the arrogance and dangerous recklessness of his protagonist. It was nice to get the reassurance that Whitaker knew that his character was not the wonderful, caring, perfect hero he’d previously been billed as. But it made me ask… how much time should you have to give a book before it makes a case for itself as being worth reading? I spent the whole time thinking this man is horrible. Does no one realize how terrifying he is? But I wondered it in a sort of detached way because I assumed Whitaker didn’t know. Why did I assume that? The casual misogyny and mixed messaging from the rest of the book. Every single female character in this novel is one-dimensional (yes, including the co-lead) and sexualized. One of them exists purely as a reward for the main character, to be bestowed upon him when he gets his act cleaned up. Then there’s the theme that you have to move on with your life instead of continually looking back… that finishes off with our supposed hero achieving everything he wanted/had back in high school as if the time in between didn’t matter. It’s not enough that Whitaker eventually acknowledges that a policeman going rogue and brandishing weapons at suspects isn’t acceptable. If We Begin at the End had been a better book, I might have trusted Whitaker to do the right thing. But it’s not a better book, and if I didn’t finish everything I start I certainly would have DNF’d it far, far before I reached that bit. Even with that, for the record, this is still not a good book. It’s just not as bad as I though it was when I was halfway through.

Full review here


4) The Death of Jane Lawrence by Caitlin Starling

The front half of this book is actually pretty good. Atmospheric, interesting, reminiscent of classic gothic romances. And then the fantasy/witchcraft kicked in and wtf. It’s like someone completely different took over the writing of the book. Someone considerably worse at writing and considerably less attached to reality. I read a review from someone on goodreads (I wish I knew whose it was so I could link/credit it) that suggested that the author must’ve tried her own magical ritual before writing this book, and honestly that would explain it. The ritual, for reference, involves a lack of food and sleep, and an abundance of cocaine. I honestly don’t even have words for the second half of this book. It’s barely coherent, but it tries so hard to make its nonsensical magic sound scientific that it’s actually a little embarrassing. Also, for a horror book, The Death of Jane Lawrence is so dedicated to romance that it undercuts its own attempts to be frightening and ends up almost entirely devoid of scares.

Full review here


3) Matrix by Lauren Groff

Ah, yes. The first of the three books that have unlocked the rare “Book Rant” honor. You know it’s bad when I hate a book so much that I can’t even bring myself to call my take a “review.” The main problem with this book is that it is maddeningly boring. It somehow manages to spend a lifetime with its characters and yet never lets the reader get to know them. Someone dies every other page, but the deaths seem only to show the passing of the time and all the focus is on the reprehensible protagonist. Reprehensible? You ask. Isn’t she a progressive, feminist nun? Sure, supposedly. Our “hero” is, yes, a lesbian nun who revolutionizes her abbey and creates a supposed female utopia. Except if you told me that Matrix was written by a homophobic misogynist to demonstrate why women and feminists are horrible, I’d believe you. And yet I wasn’t even all that engaged in hating the horrible protagonist. I would just roll my eyes and think is this seriously what we’re doing now? because it’s just that boring. I spent the whole time I was reading this alternating between falling asleep and counting to see how many pages I had left. It could not end soon enough.

Full review here


2) Good Neighbors by Sarah Langan

The problem with this book can be illustrated almost entirely by one very awful scene. Two girls get in a fight, and shortly afterwards one falls into a sinkhole. The plot of the entire novel hinges on this scene, but for the scene to work every single person in it has to act wildly out of character and make a total 180 immediately afterwards. If your plot hinges on this scene, but this scene doesn’t work for any of your characters… something needs to change. Beyond that, though, the book is simply terrible. No character’s motivations ever make any sense, and the only reason I can come up for why they do what they do is that Langan really wanted a horrifically bloody ending. She also expected me to swallow some really huge, bitter pills… like the fact that an unhinged psychopath who would beat a child’s head in with a rock just because is somehow an empathetic character, or that a Grammy-winning singer and his conventionally attractive wife would be ostracized by their wealthy neighbors just because they’ve got tattoos. I felt like the point of the book was carnage. The characters don’t make any sense or inspire any affection or empathy, but Good Neighbors doesn’t really seem to have a cohesive thematic point, either. Novels should entertain or enlighten us. Good Neighbors doesn’t. It’s frustrating, and no tricky narrative device can wholly distract from a storyline that pushes towards violence merely for violence’s own sake.

Full review here


1) The Paper Palace by Miranda Cowley Heller

Back in September, when I wrote my initial review of The Paper Palace, I said: “At the end of December, I make lists of my ten favorite and least favorite reads from the year. There’s still some time to go before I start compiling those lists, but I’d be willing to bet nothing beats The Paper Palace by Miranda Cowley Heller for the number one spot on the worst books list.” I was correct. I read a few more clunkers, many of which also made this list, but nothing came close to touching Heller’s hellish cacophony of sexual trauma. The Paper Palace is about children getting repeatedly sexually abused and raped, but it tries to play itself off as a love triangle. The fact that there are people out there reading this book without having their stomached turned is absolutely insane to me. I felt sick reading this, and I’m honestly horrified that it was published and lauded, especially without copious trigger warnings.

Full review here


What were your favorite and least favorite books from 2021? Did you read any of these books? If so, did you like them or am I right?

Matrix (Book Rant)

It’s books like this that make people think that all queer women and feminists are humorless misandrists.

This is one of my ranty reviews. As always, if you liked this book or aren’t in the mood for snarky negativity right now, you should skip this. I’ve got plenty of overwhelmingly positive reviews! This just isn’t one of them.

Rating: 0 out of 5.

I wanted to like Matrix by Lauren Goff—I mean, obviously; I don’t ever want to dislike something I’m reading—because its focus on a powerful and largely content lesbian counteracts the things that I often dislike about historical fiction (namely, that it either ignores minorities or focuses solely on their trauma). Unfortunately, I have rarely hated a fictional character more than Matrix’s smug, hypocritical Marie, and the style of the writing—which many reviewers have praised as the novel’s greatest achievement—only irritated me with its unnecessary floweriness and casual disregard of grammatical conventions.

Attention, authors. Forgoing quotation marks is not artsy. It’s not creative. Every amateur writing class has at least three people who think removing quotation marks from dialogue makes them seem brilliant. It doesn’t. It’s annoying, it’s common, and doing it intentionally is indistinguishable from simply not understanding correct punctuation. If you have to deviate from the usual rules of usage, do something else. At least surprise me with your intentionally bad grammar. Don’t make my response be a disappointed sigh and oh, so it’s one of these.  

Anyway…

It’s hard to imagine a book missing the mark for me more. I was actively bored and annoyed the whole time, which is never a good combo. One, I can handle. Both? Yikes. Books less than 300 pages should not feel interminably long. This novel covers a whole lifetime and yet makes it feel like nothing happens. But at the same time, too much happens. There’s a new thing happening every other paragraph, but the writing is so blandly and unnecessarily descriptive that it sounds like a sparknotes of a history textbook written by a sophomore trying way, way to hard.

Mostly, though, Marie. I hate her so much. Groff writes her—and the other characters’ reactions to her—as if she is a feminist icon who is breaking down barriers for women and creating a feminist utopia even in a world in which men have all the power. In reality, Marie is a selfish asshole who has a permanently holier-than-thou attitude and who actively tears down anyone—man or woman—she sees as a threat.

I suppose one could argue that since Marie is an abbess by the end, she is literally holier-than-thou. Except that Marie never seems to fully believe in a higher power other than herself. She claims to have visions from the Virgin Mary occasionally, but she never fully commits to her religion. The word “god” is notably never capitalized in the novel, Marie happily flaunts any religious rule she doesn’t like, and Marie enters the convent in high position because she is related to royalty (she is a bastard born of rape, but her rapist father was a king so the royal family has up put up with her). Sure, it’s possible that Marie really had all her visions and that she is truly devoted to serving Mary’s will, but it’s kinda convenient that Mary wants to dramatically increase Marie’s power and give her more comfortable quarters, right?

I don’t really want to expend a whole lot more energy thinking about Matrix, because it was just so bad (literally every member of my book club disliked it; we’ve been united in liking a book before, but we’ve never unanimously disliked something), so here’s a concise list of some of the most egregious things that Marie does to give you a picture of why I found her, and her book, so detestable:

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Anna K (Book Review)

I don’t know where I first heard about Anna K by Jenny Lee. For whatever reason, though, once I was aware of it, I kept seeing it everywhere. There are lots of very, very positive reviews for it and I was increasingly sure that when I finally read it I would love it. After all, it’s a YA retelling of classic novel and it was reimagined with a Korean-American family at its heart. When I like classic retellings, I LOVE them. I liked Anna Karenina when I read it years ago, and I have been looking to read more books by Asian authors and starring Asian characters, so from the outside Anna K looked like it was going to be a home run.

It wasn’t, unfortunately.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

About halfway through Anna K, I—like Levin—understood something. There is absolutely no way to adapt Anna Karenina as a young adult novel. The really successful retellings take the core of the original story and transplant it into a different setting where it can approach the same themes with a fresh spin. Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina is about marriage. There are three major storylines in it, and marriage is instrumental to them all. Dolly discovers that her husband has cheated on her, and she has to make the decision to stay with him and move past it in order to do what she believes is best for herself and her children. Anna has a passionate affair that dissolves her marriage and ostracizes her from society. And Levin pursues a young woman he wishes to marry. When you take marriage out of the equation, Dolly and Anna’s stories no longer work (Levin’s is still feasible). 21st century unmarried, childless, teenage Lolly (Anna K’s Dolly) has a lot more options when she discovers her boyfriend’s infidelity than her classic counterpart. As for Anna… teenagers break up all the time, and her choices and affair feel much less significant and far more frivolous when you realize that she had absolutely no reason to stay in a relationship she entered at age fourteen and, at seventeen, is already bored of. It might have been tricky to do a modern adaptation of Anna Karenina considering that society has changed so much—there are still sexist double standards, but a woman who has cheated is no longer such a pariah, and divorce is a far more common and accepted alternative for unhappy couples—but it is certainly doable. But trying to do it with teenagers? Without marriage? That was a fool’s errand.

Still, I’ll say this for Jenny Lee. She gives it her absolute best go. She adds plot elements and updates the material in order to try to get her story to mirror the spirit of the original as closely as possible. Alexander (Anna K’s Karenin) has a car wreck and Anna feels duty-bound to delay their breakup until he is off bed-rest. Towards the end of the novel, Anna hits her rock bottom not merely because of the affair but because someone releases a sex tape without her knowledge or consent. These little touches are needed and show Lee’s cleverness, but ultimately they are a few pieces of masking tape over the gaping holes.

It’s not my rantiest, but it feels slightly more considerate to mark overall negative reviews this way

Unfortunately, the issues with Anna K go beyond the unsustainability of a teenage Anna Karenina. If it were fun to read, all could have been forgiven. If Anna had been a sparkling wit or if Steven (Anna K’s Stiva) had been funny or if Anna and Vronsky’s love story had me swooning, it could have salvaged the whole thing. Sadly, it has no such saving graces. Most of the characters come across as vapid, privileged, irritating children. Anna feels particularly pretentious; she acts like she’s a high class lady of standing but everything she does is uncomfortably frivolous, particularly her love affair. This book is just one boring party scene after another. We’re told repeatedly that Anna and Vronsky have a lot of chemistry when they dance, but you can’t just say they danced and it was hot and have that be it. Lolly’s personality essentially boils down to basic rich white girl who tries too hard. Alexander (Anna K‘s Karenin) is a prick with few, if any, redeeming qualities. Dustin (Anna K’s Levin) is a little bit of a creep; his one dream in life is to go to Prom with a girl from the community’s deeply sexist Hot List, and while supposedly he does legitimately fall in love with Kimmie (Anna K’s Kitty), he does so at first sight and is entirely too preoccupied with the fact that she is quantifiably the third hottest sophomore. I can get behind any story if there’s one character I can glom onto and adore with all my heart. I couldn’t even find one here who didn’t annoy me.

Then there are even smaller irritants, like the fact that I was supposed to take a teenage boy called Alexia “The Count” Vronsky seriously. Lee updated everyone else’s names, but left “Count Vronsky?” WTF. No. Also, why change “Alexei” to “Alexia?” That’s just… weird.

And speaking of Vronsky, I was bewildered that Lee went so far out of her way to say that he doesn’t like horses, doesn’t ride them, hasn’t done for years, has no interest in them, etc. only to have the horse race with Frou-Frou’s death play out exactly as it does in the original novel. Anna K’s Vronsky rides a motorcycle. Why not have him crash in a bike race? Or why not just let him love horses? It would give him and Anna something to bond over, and it would keep the emotion higher in the horse race scene. Also, loving animals is a recurring theme in Anna K, much more so than in Anna Karenina, so it doesn’t make sense to remove Vronsky’s love for the horse.   

Ditto with all the trains. Why keep them in essentially their original form when the rest of the story no longer supports them? There are other dangerous vehicles out there. Trains were cutting age in Anna Karenina (and, obviously, a huge part of that story both thematically and literally), but every time someone takes one in Anna K I got pulled out of the story. Casually taking the train is not a thing people do anymore. Maybe a bullet train in Europe or Asia, but in the States? Why not put everyone on a bus? It’s less romantic and evocative of the original, but it makes more sense. Maybe Lee meant the metro every time she wrote “train,” but I spent the whole book thinking about how the only time I’ve been on a train was as a tourist when the train was the attraction.

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The Merciful Crow (Mini Book Review)

When you read as much as I do, and when you’ve had a lifelong love of reading, it’s impossible to have a single, all-time favorite book. However, it is possible to have a current favorite and right now—in May 2021—my favorite book is Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. The best way to get me to read something is to compare it to Six of Crows. Margaret Owen’s YA fantasy duology was not on my radar. I knew it existed, obviously (I’m a bookseller and YA is my speciality), but it wasn’t one I’d ever picked up or perused or contemplated reading. And then Shadow and Bone got turned into a Netflix show and all of a sudden everyone at work was talking about comparison titles. Someone mentioned The Merciful Crow and it skyrocketed to the top of my TBR.

At first glance, the comparison is obvious. I mean, crows. But having finished The Merciful Crow, I can’t in good faith point Grishaverse fans there. My main takeaway from Six of Crows is that I could not stop reading. The action is so breakneck and compelling that I had to wretch myself away. The Merciful Crow has nearly the exact opposite effect. I was bored and I didn’t care whether any of the characters lived or died.

My mind wandered while I was reading, and by the time I got to the end, I was skimming more than reading. I read some Goodreads reviews, and it seems that I’m far from the only one whose attention wavered. The plot is just not that interesting. There’s an evil plot to murder the prince, who fakes his death and for some inexplicable reason really needs main character Fie to escort him to his allies. Sure, eventually he finds out that she’s handy or whatever, but at the beginning, when he makes this plan… he thinks her caste is stupid and useless. Imagine putting the safety and wellbeing of yourself, your best friend, and your kingdom in the hands of someone you see as subhuman. Like, hooray for overcoming racism and stuff, but it makes no sense that he’d ever be in the position to do that.

The stakes are also somewhat iffy. We’re told that the evil queen is evil and that if she got to rule it would be the end of the world as they know it, but also… yeah, okay. She’s already the queen, and it’s not like the king is doing all that much. Really the only thing going on in this kingdom that the reader is privy to is discrimination towards/murdering of Crows, so it’s not like we can be all that fussed about a change in regime even if we’re promised that things would get worse. At a certain point, if you tell me the same thing that many times without adding details or clarifying anything, it sounds like empty boasting. Yeah, she’s the worst. The most evil. The baddest. You’d be terrified if you ever met her, because she’s BAD. The villains we actually do see aren’t any more memorable. Admittedly I did just admit to skimming a lot, but by the time Fie has her climactic standoff with the trackers who were hunting her, I barely recognized the names of the trackers, and couldn’t conjure up any details about them aside from this guy is really good at tracking and they captured this girl at one point, right? And then let her go for some reason?

My lack of comprehension isn’t entirely my own doing, though. I absolutely hated the writing style. Even if you ignore the maddening word choice (I wanted to throw something every time Fie used the word “ken”), the style is frustrating. It overuses repetition. Any time the story needs some tension, Owen peppers in a not if, when like that’s super dramatic, but I was just like… yeah, that’s how time works. You don’t spend your life training for a job you’re never going to do, but when Fie’s Pa tells her that she’s actually going to become a chief she acts like it’s the most earth-shattering piece of information she’s ever received. And the writing is… sparse. Now, I’m no fan of excessive description, but it does serve a purpose. The Merciful Crow jumps from action to action, and even at the beginning when I was paying full attention I had a hard time figuring out why Fie did anything. For a character who is largely defined by her dedication to duty and the denial of her own desires, she has very little interiority. We’re never in her head long enough to ken* what makes her tick. Forget about knowing why something happened, sometimes I couldn’t even figure out what happened. I don’t know what kind of vibe Owen was going for with her style, but boy howdy did she miss the mark for me.   

*see how annoying this is?

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Good Neighbors (Book Rant)

I’ve read a lot of good books this year. Almost everything has been a four or five star review. I suppose, though, that all good things must come to an end. A good run ended with Good Neighbors by Sarah Langan. I did not like this book. I raced through it because I could not wait to be done with it.

What’s it about?

When a sinkhole appears in a wealthy suburban town, it reveals a dark underbelly. A young girl disappears into the sinkhole. A father is accused of rape. An angry woman whips her neighbors into a violent mob. Temperatures climb, and a mass exodus leaves only the worst neighbors behind.

What’d I think?

F/⭐

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We Begin at the End (Book Review)

In preparation for the upcoming Shadow and Bone Netflix series, I reread Leigh Bardugo’s fabulous Grishaverse books from start to finish. Six of Crows is my current #1 favorite book, and it goes without saying that I LOVED that reread. I knew that the first book that I read after finishing it would have a tough shake. Some fictional worlds are too much fun to leave, and Bardugo’s Grishaverse comes with a nasty book hangover. I was going to lightly resent anything I read right after, and unhappily for We Begin at the End, it was next on the docket. Still, I was lightly optimistic. I’d heard good things about this one, and I saw it selling fairly well. “Selling well” isn’t a foolproof measure of quality, but it is often a decent indicator. Right now, some of the top sellers are They Both Die at the End, The Song of Achilles, We Were Liars, and Shadow and Bone. So… people have pretty good taste.

My optimism was short lived. I had to force myself to the end, and I only managed that by flipping to the back and reading the extremely spoilery discussion questions to reassure myself that the book was actually going somewhere. I’m bewildered by the high number of four- and five-star reviews We Begin at the End got on Goodreads, because it was a total swing and miss for me.

Rating: 1 out of 5.

My overwhelming reaction to We Begin at the End is that the writing is bad. It’s choppy and ugly, and it does nothing to distract from the parts of the plot that doesn’t quite work. Most of the plot fails to stand up to close scrutiny. Better writing might have closed the holes, or attracted my attention enough that I didn’t mind them. Multiple times, I stopped and thought if this story had been written by someone with any writing skill, it might have been good. The narrative tells me one thing but shows me another. It fails to evoke emotion, despite the near-constant stream of tragedies.

Seriously. I spoil most of the major plot points.

One of the most basic rules of writing is to vary sentence length. Too many short sentences in a row and you’ll lose the reader. Or long, I suppose. Short sentences are the culprit here, though. Almost the whole book is written in clipped dialogue. There are lots of info dumps when one character reports his findings to another. Whitaker also seems to have an objection to proper nouns, because he avoids them whenever possible, causing confusion occasionally. He opens scenes with “he” for Walk and “she” for Duchess, which is fine… until he unexpectedly opens a scene with a “she” that is not Duchess. It isn’t bad enough to be confusing, but it is bad enough to be irritating.

I did not connect with or care for any of the characters. The two main characters are both emotionally stunted and unintentionally toxic. Walk is a police chief stuck in the past. He actively blocks any forward progress. His idea of good police work is shielding his friends and family from the law, whether it’s by neglecting to turn them in for arson or by straight up perjuring in court. Duchess is a thirteen-year-old girl who tries to sound tough by cursing awkwardly and unironically saying “I’m an outlaw” whenever she takes a break from escalating already-bad situations or gaslighting her little brother (the number of times she tells him “I’m the only one who can take care of you” or “I’m the only one you can trust…). Whitaker corrects some of this towards the end by acknowledging that his characters aren’t as perfect as he initially tried to present them, but it comes as too little and too late. It also comes across like it’s supposed to be a twist of sorts, but no. You can tell me that someone’s a great guy until you’re blue in the face, but forgive me if I stop believing you when he pulls a gun on someone unprovoked. Yeah, the guy was a dirtbag, but when Walk shoved the gun in his face he was being unhelpful at worst. Rogue cops aren’t the plucky heroes so many content creators think they are, and I thought the collective world was finally catching onto that.

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The Cold Millions (Book Review)

I read The Cold Millions in mid-December, which is when I start to start reflect on what I read to make my annual top and bottom tens. Looking back, I read some very good books, but I read a lot of books that weren’t to my taste even a little bit. By virtue of being fresh, anything that I read in the last part of the year is more likely to make the list than something I read way back before the shutdown. That said, I suspect Jess Walter’s novel The Cold Millions would end up on my least favorite list even if I’d read it on January first. Putting book down and saying, “thank goodness I’m done with that,” is not a good sign. Reading a climax in which the two lead characters are both in imminent danger of dying violently and not caring in the least is not a good sign. Deciding to rely on a previously-published list of book club discussions rather than writing my own is not a good sign. I did not like The Cold Millions. I try to find something positive to say about even the books I like the least, but when I’m both bored out of my mind and actively irritated it’s tough to be upbeat.

That said, the rest of my book club really enjoyed the book. They loved Walter’s writing and storytelling, and I wonder if my inability to visualize things damaged my perception of it. The book club ladies enthused about the way Walter writes and how he paints a picture. I’ve always found overly descriptive novels annoying and lacking in impact, so maybe that’s why I had such a negative reaction to The Cold Millions even though so many people love it.

D/⭐

What’s it about? (from Goodreads)

“An intimate story of brotherhood, love, sacrifice and betrayal set against the panoramic backdrop of an early twentieth-century century America that eerily echoes our own time, The Cold Millions offers a stunning, kaleidoscopic portrait of a nation grappling with the chasm between rich and poor, between harsh realities and simple dreams. Featuring an unforgettable cast of cops and tramps, suffragists and socialists, madams and murderers.”

What’d I think?

Before I started The Cold Millions, I read Goodreads reviews and checked its star rating. I was excited to see the 4+ rating and to read reviews that called Walter the next great American writer. Almost everyone who read it gushed about it and about him. I was bewildered, absolutely bewildered, by my own reaction having read those. My overwhelming feeling is that Jess Walter is not a good enough writer to have tackled a storyline like the one found inside The Cold Millions. An excellent writer can elevate a mediocre storyline, and a mediocre writer can drag down a powerful storyline. The latter is what happened here. There’s an embarrassingly wide chasm between what we’re told and what we see. Until I read the afterward that told me how Walter felt, I couldn’t figure out what stance he meant to take. The pacing is bad. The characters are forgettable. Things that should be difficult come easily, and almost every character beat feels unearned. The basic plot of the novel? It could have been excellent. I suspect that even in the hands of a great writer it wouldn’t have been my taste, but it could have been interesting and compelling. In Walter’s hands, though? I was bored silly. I was irritated by the characters that should have inspired me. I forgot who was who because they failed to make any impression on me. I repeatedly flipped to the end to count how many pages I still had to suffer through.

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November 2020 Wrap-Up

November was a rough month. Holiday season is no joke in the retail world. Also, it was National Novel Writing Month, so I spent most of my creative energy (and downtime!) working on that. I didn’t have much time leftover to read or write reviews, which is why I’ve been essentially MIA on this blog. Whoops. I’m going to eventually loop back and review most of what I read this November, but since I was so-so on the majority of them, it might take a while.

What did you read and watch this month? Why should I check out?

Here’s what I read…

Leave the World Behind by Rumaan Alam

Leave the World Behind is a powerful novel. It has been getting a lot of hype, and for good reason. It’s impeccably written, and the oppressive atmosphere of uncertainty and terror is effective in its own right but it also taps into what we’re all feeling this year. This is a novel that thrives on ambiguity. It’s brilliantly done. It was a little bit too much for me right now–2020 has me so stressed already; I need escapist fiction!–but it’s excellent. ⭐⭐⭐⭐


Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

Like Leave the World Behind, Cemetery Boys deserves its acclaim. It weaves together an affecting queer bildungsroman with an exciting paranormal murder mystery. The two storylines are deeply linked and make for a novel that is as empowering as it is fantastical. There are a few fairly predictable plot twists in the second half, but that’s forgivable because they fit the thematic story being told (and, in truth, a twist that is too foreshadowed is better than one not foreshadowed enough). Overall, this is an excellent YA fantasy that mixes trans and Latinx stories with charming characters and ghosts. This was, by far, my favorite read from November. ⭐⭐⭐⭐


Pumpkin Heads by Rainbow Rowell and Faith Erin Hicks

I love Rainbow Rowell, so I’ve been meaning to read this since it came out, but it was in high demand last fall so I waited until this year. It seemed like a good pick for early October, so I dove into it with high hopes. It’s… okay. It’s cute and quick, and I liked the illustrations. I was ultimately disappointed, though. I was really loving the friendship between the two main characters, so when it (spoiler) tips into romance I was bummed. They just felt beautifully platonic to me, and there aren’t many platonic love stories out there. I love a good friends-to-lovers arc as much as anyone when it feels natural, but this one feels forced. ⭐⭐⭐⭐


Hench by Natalie Zina Walschots

Oh, Hench. What a disappointment. It’s Not Your Sidekick meets The Boys, which sounds pretty good (I haven’t seen the second season of The Boys yet. Should I?)… but it takes the worst of each without the best. It has the gritty violence of The Boys without the dark humor or complexity. It has the basic premise of Not Your Sidekick without the sweetness. Hench tries very hard to complicate a world of superheroes and supervillains, but only succeeds in making its protagonist an self-righteous egoist. That would be bad enough on its own if the book didn’t have other issues, which it does. Most specifically, the pacing is jarring and the overall impression is that the book drags horribly while somehow speeding through everything of import. ⭐⭐


Love, Creekwood by Becky Albertalli

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Supernatural 15×20 Reaction (Carry On)

Sometimes (often), I read tumblr posts about Supernatural episodes before I watch the episode myself. I’m impatient, and while I can’t watch the episodes as they air live, I can read people’s liveblogs. I don’t really mind spoilers, and Supernatural episodes are so uneven that I like to know what I’m getting into before I get into it. Over the years, I’ve found some bloggers whose opinions I agree with 95% of the time. Based on those bloggers’ reactions to the finale… I don’t want to watch it.

Which is nuts, because I’ve been EAGERLY waiting for tonight’s episode for two weeks. I loved 15×18 when it aired, but in retrospect I’d love to delete it because it set my expectations way too high, much higher than they ever should have been.

I’m a completionist, so I’m sure I’ll watch “Carry On” in a couple of weeks (you can’t really watch 326/327 episodes), but for now… nope.

I’ve been watching for Cas this whole time. Even before I’d seen a single episode with Cas, I was mentally counting down episodes until “Lazarus Rising,” because it was tumblr posts about him that first piqued my interest about the show, and my understanding was that the show is pretty good for three seasons and then becomes epic. For the most part, that was true. I never, ever would have stuck with Supernatural if it weren’t for Cas. He is Supernatural‘s greatest triumph/asset, and all they did was waste him.

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